Wedding

The Dance begins

Seongeun and I were married three years ago on September 18, 2011.  What an adventure it has been!  What I remember most about the day was how natural it felt and thinking, how the heck did Seongeun arrange all this from Liberia? While I admittedly choreographed 1/2 of our dance and gave the speech below, that was just icing on the cake.  Seongeun bought, took and was the cake.

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Toast to Seongeun, Family and Friends

Seongeun and I want to thank everyone for being here today.   We’ve received a lot of help to get to this point.  The cost of our counseling sessions seem well worth it now.  In fairness, my group therapy started long before I met Seongeun.  It wasn’t that there was anything wrong.  I was just trying to improve myself, like all extremely manly, metro-sexual men, who love cats, do.

There were many lessons, like men shouldn’t cry until the lean how to do this more gracefully.  Or, people can change anytime they want to but choose not to now.  But my biggest lesson was on the four types of knowing which seem relevant which I would like to share with you now.

1. There’s the things you know you know.   

We know that Seongeun said dear things to her father and mother that we don’t need to know Korean to understand.  You friends know how thankful Seonguen and I are to be able to do this marriage thing in front of you, our community of family and friends.  We truly appreciate it.  Kathy, Jamey, Satpal, Kurt, Sibylle, if we ever open up a nightclub in Liberia, you will  definitely be on are our A list. 

Mom and Dad you know how much I love you even though we Chinese, I mean Taiwanese, don’t usually say that.   I am 41 but my fondest memories of you dad, was our ritual of watching the evening the CBS evening news with Walter Cronkite in your lap when I was young while you drank Coors Light.  You always encouraged me to drink.  Mom, every night you used to tuck me in at night and pull the sheets high up on my chest.  I can still smell your Oil of Olay, which I might add, works rather well for men.  The nice that Mom and Dad about being Asian-American is that I can say Mom and Dad, I love you, and make you a bowl of beef noodles.   

Sometimes you guys would feet and Nancy, Jeanny, Elaine and I would hide in the closet underneath the sleeping bags and I would feel safe.   Nancy, Jeanny, Elaine you guys are great sisters and friends.  I never thought I would say this, but thank you for giving me the silent treatment when I was unruly.  And thank you for letting me wear your dresses.

2. There are  the things you know you don’t know. 

We males know that we will never understand why females say one thing but mean another.  We also know we will never know why we do that thing we sense we shouldn’t  do even though we know the repercussions are going to take even more time later.  Now Todd, was that second basketball game really worth the talking to you got for being late for dinner?  Jamey, did you really consider that Cami would consider you using the two way video feature on your iphone as babysitting? 

As my friend Garett used to mumble to me 7 years ago over beers, just agree,  just agree.  It’s easier to just agree.   I used to look at Garrett who is kind of insane and say, what are you talking about?  To which he then said kind of threatening.  You’ll see.  You’ll see then see what happens when you don’t agree. Well, Garrett, I now agree.

3. There’s the things you don’t know you know. 

For me that is the confidence thing.  Seongeun and I didn’t know how we would do in Liberia, but we are doing fine, ever since I found we could buy crab for a dollar and Seongeun a Korean restaurant with you guessed it for all you cabbage lovers out there, Kimchee. 

Men don’t know we can be good husbands until they become good husbands.  I used to ask my friends before and after kids, how do you do it.  How do you have the energy and the patience to do what you do.  And basically they would say somewhat philosophically, with bags under their eyes and a little drool at the corner of their mouth,  you do it because you have to ass hole.   

4. Finally, there are the things you don’t know you don’t know. 

Of all  the types of knowing, this is the one I am most exited about.   Seongeun I can’t wait for adventures to come.   It could be 10 children!  Dad, I said that for you.  Seongeun, I would never do that for you.  It could be I become a religious man!  Seongeun I said that for you, (looking up) and for you.  To me working side by side, doing that full on and consistently to create something entirely unexpected, that to me is truly living.

Seongeun you are the kindest, sassiest, smartest, most patient, stubborn, loving, sexy person I have ever met wrapped up in a size zero.  I thank you "en avance" for the travels to come.  Seongeun is a little tricky.  She’s like  a spy.  She does things well but quietly, efficient and you only get punished if you get her angry.   But spy, I see you.  

I am so happy to be able to do it with a companion by my side who accepts me for who I am and in that way helps me grow to a better person.  I thank your parents, who are the humblest, kindest, giving people I have known outside of my family.  Your Mom has somehow fattened me even under the stress of wedding preparation and I can’t believe that this is the first vacation your dad has ever taken in his whole life.  What a choice.  Mr. and Mrs. Chun, when I see you two together I see Seongeun and it’s like a fine grainy award winning movie.  I am grateful to be part of your family and it’s fun that our families can now be joined with all its quips, hiccups, burps and long speeches 

A toast to my beautiful wife, our family, to us all.

My parents

My new parents