Farewell Dear Indonesia
EMAS staff making me wish I could stay
This post marks both beginning and end to another extended trip. It's been over 20 months since Seongeun and I first arrived in Jakarta. Then we didn't know what to expect. We had never met an Indonesian, never lived in a country which was predominantly Muslim, never spoken Bahasa Indonesia. Hell, we didn't even know Bali was part of the 17,000 and counting archipelago or that travel to Australia was close and convenient. We still haven't made it there.
Things have changed. Indonesia has become our home. I am comfortable walking congested streets. Each day I look forward to slurping succulent Soto. So when left too long to ponder, I am very sad to leave our wonderful friends and community, a project to which I believe I can still make a difference, and basketball games each weekend where sweat drips off your elbows in the hot.
The adult in me says such is the paradox of transitions. New relationships will be built and strong old ones will survive. The palate will adjust. My work now moves back to West Africa where I rejoin the IRC this time to fight the Ebola epidemic. What's scary thus far is less the threat of a nasty ever-mutating virus, then the ever-mutating fear, politics and resultant policies that make this struggle even harder to win.
But, I digress. This speech I gave to my office-mates last month to express my gratitude to them. Taman-taman, selamat tinggal!
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August 28, 2014
"Thank you all so much for this. I am going to give my remarks in Indonesian because I know this will annoy Bu Mia.
My departure is sudden but what we have done together for nineteen months is not. In my world there is urgency in progress, but goal attainment comes from taking seriously the steps of the everyday. And then suddenly, you wake up and you have completed a journey.
So I want to talk about what I’ve liked most about our journey together in this moment together
1) Relationships. Each day I have valued my interactions with EMAS staff. I have appreciated people’s patience and willingness to get things done together. Tris—how she has mentored me while yelling at me for not collaborating with the Ministry more. Sari her silent effective management of this organization. Her price, simpy, potato chips from the provinces (oleh oleh). Dian “McGiver” or is he “Batman” and his Robin, Yanto. Pak Sartun who frames all my pictures even though I now have no place to live. All the Clinical Mentors watching them grow up to become better doctors.
The consistently amazing Medan team
Bu Mia who continues to correct my speaking and who has become a good friend: I forgot my kunci (key), kuncing (cat) or kencing (piss). I am mencegah (disappointed) to go home or mencoah (cockroach). I feel malu (embarrassment) or kemaluan (genitals). Wadu…masih pusing. Woe, still confused!
2) Culture. Without culture there is nothing. Each day my first highlight is the work, but the second is eating. I have loved trying food that is really bad for you. Sharing food with colleagues has made me feel like part of the gang and kept me awake during meetings.
Mmmmm good food of Banten
Culture also consists of how people treat each other. I enjoy the politeness and consideration of Indonesians. We brute American can learn from this. And I also hope we teach Indonesians something about challenge, being a little crazy and the importance of risk. Don’t worry. It usually doesn’t get you fired.
3) Focus on mothers and their babies. I really like this project. If there has been any difference in opinion and strategy it IS personal. I was taught long ago to never let go of the clinical side; to even as a manager or technical advisor to take time to sit and work in the sweat and smell of the clinic or hospital to see what patients experience; to imagine you are the person sitting on the floor waiting to see your child; you are the baby in the incubator with no one to hold you. You are the spouse of a mother who has just died. What do you want to hear?
The first baby I met in Indonesia whose death made me mad.
Last week in Jombang and then this week in Medan, I was reminded of the stakes we play. In Jombang healthy babies are routinely being put in the hospital. There was a baby intubated for no reason struggling to breathe on CPAP because it was installed incorrectly. The baby was gray. Its chest was heaving. It looked scared as if asking why? We showed the nurses how to correct the problem and the baby began to breathe normal again, but it never should have been this way.
That poor baby
In Asahan the neonatal nurses in HAMS and Deli Serdang are single handedly holding up the units. The specialists are rarely there. The nurses Zulismar and Martha are tired of watching babies needlessly injured. We introduced DST over a year ago in Deli Serdang and 4 months ago in Asahan and the intervention is still going strong. All the babies are getting fed. There is no guessing on how much fluid to give the babies. Zulismar is following her units progress on a dashboard. Martha is making sure that even if a doctor orders incorrectly, that no baby gets drowned. Zulismar and Martha don’t need to be told what to do. They know. You ask them and they say CPAP, they say they need doctors who care and know what they are doing and for specialists to come on the weekend. They want to learn how to place deep lines. I love Zulismar and Martha and I will always listen to them.
Zulismar teaching Aurora in Medan
So the stakes are high. It’s the way we should like it, want it, and if you ever feel that EMAS is boring, just go to the hospital or Puskesmas to interact with patients and staff and remind yourself of the faces we work for. It works every time.
It is very hard for me to leave EMAS for all of the above reasons, make no mistake. But I also have no regrets for my 19 months in Indonesia. I feel blessed at the chance to have entered this circle of family and friends, to have attempted to be useful to the patients and communities we serve, all the while learning new ways and daring to push for that which we as caregivers must believe.
Thank you. I hope you let me pay you back some day."
-- Jakarta
Ha! The second best gift next to the experience one could give.
